Sustainable
Families, Sustainable Parenting, Growing the Grown Ups
At Embercombe, under
the name of Sustainable Families, we choose to work with families who already
have their basic needs met, to a greater or lesser extent, and who are
interested in exploring what it means to raise a child consciously.
This is because these are families who are
potentially raising the next generation’s leaders.
Until we have our own children, we can’t
imagine how testing it is to be a parent.
It is easy to look at others and see that if the parents just relaxed,
or stepped up, most issues with the children would fall away.
But when it comes to raising our own
children, even the most resourced, educated, conscious of us are challenged.
What if this is part of the “natural design
for thriving life”? (a phrase used by Pat McCabe) – that the process of raising
children calls adults to continue to grow up any aspects which have not yet
come to maturity.
Children are like mirrors, reflecting our
potential and our difficulties back to us; they elicit such a depth of
unconditional love in us, and at the same time they seem to take us to our
darkest places.
If we are interested in our own awakening
journey and in becoming effective leaders, then what a gift it is to have this
intense 24/7 relationship which both brings us to our knees and makes our
hearts shine. Having a loving light
shone on our shadowy places is a brilliant invitation for us to grow.
Our work with parents at Embercombe is an
attempt to acknowledge and unravel these challenges, and draw out the learning,
and to come together with other to share with others to celebrate the joy and
amazing contribution of being a parent.
Teaching parenting is not our focus. How each family works out the logistics of
sleeping, eating, schooling, we see as a lifestyle choice.
We often refer to the Parenting by
Connection tools (Listening Partnerships, Special Time, Stay Listening, Play
Listening) as taught by the not-for-profit organisation Hand in Hand, because
these effectively address how to repair connection and understand emotions.
However, we also draw on many different
parenting approaches, which we will post parents to for more support with
specific issues. Approaches which sit
comfortably with our ethos at Embercombe encourage listening, respect and
giving children clear kind boundaries - ie authoritative parenting (rather than
authoritarian or permissive).
Currently our only Sustainable Families
programme is the Growing the Grown Ups Camp each year. In previous years we have had fortnightly
parenting support groups (Sustainable Parenting) and occasional trainings.
Working with adults and children together,
and separately on the same site, requires a lot of organising and resources,
and it is always a challenge to keep our courses affordable. We are privileged
to have had many people volunteer their experience and time on our Sustainable
Families programmes over the years.
We are grateful to have received funding from
the European Life Long Learning Programme to participate in a Grundtvig
Learning Partnership “Soft Skills – Empowered Parents” (2013 – 2015) with 6
other European countries, to explore leadership skills most relevant to
parents. This has enabled us to share
our work with our partners, bring a day of Parenting By Connection training to
our Education and wider team, and given us opportunities to attend several
relevant international workshops.