Under construction
ACTIVE LISTENING - Grundtvig training in Ranco - Italy - 11-12/3/15JF Abeloos - AL Roux2
Active Listening TEST
In group of three
A explains why (s)he is in this course
B listen and try to fully understand
C is the observer
After 15 change roll so that everyone has played all three rolls
Listening evaluation: What kind of a listener are you ?
Listening Quiz
How much information reaches the other?
Starting from what you have in your brain to what he other effectively retain, accept, will do
Ą The function of listening
Writing
Reading
Speaking
Listening
Active Listening
9%
16%
30%
45%
Listening Hearing
Do you hear that?
Listen to the birds!
Regression in listening!
9y
12y
14y
17y
Active Listening
90%
80%
44%
28%
Regression in listening!
9y
12y
14y
17y
Active Listening
90%
80%
44%
28%
Ą Listening is always an active process
Đ This means you have to actively process the
information given
Đ => your own frame of references will filter the
information (funnel)
Đ hearing canŐt be stopped
Active Listening
12
Active Listening
Ą The process
Sender Transmission of
the message
Receiver
Frame of
references
Mental status
Emotional status
Frame of
references
Mental status
Emotional status
13
Active Listening
Ą Good habits
Đ What to use from the speaker
Đ Concentrate on the message
Đ No judging
Đ Search for main ideas
Đ Stay relaxed
Đ Identify strong emotions
Đ Anticipate
Đ Prevent external distraction
13
Active Listening
Ą Good habits
Đ What to use from the speaker
Đ Concentrate on the message
Đ No judging
Đ Search for main ideas
Đ Stay relaxed
Đ Identify strong emotions
Đ Anticipate
Đ Prevent external distraction
14
Ą Bad habits
Đ Calling the other ŇboringÓ
Đ Criticize the external appearance
Đ Preparing the reply while the partner is
speaking
Đ Only looking for facts
Đ Mocking attention
Active Listening
15
Ą Bad habits
Đ Letting the emotionally strong language take
the lead
Đ Allowing distraction from outside
Active Listening
16
Active Listening
16
Active Listening
17
Ą Exercise
Groups of three persons
One interviews the other
One observer
Alternate the role after 15min
Active Listening
18
Ą The unconscious Mind
Đ Right brain
Đ Body of the brain
Đ Non-rational & non-temporal
Đ No erase/delete, become conscious
Đ Emotions, sensations, perceptions
Đ Creativity
Active Listening
19
Ą The conscious Mind
Đ Left brain
Đ Body of the brain
Đ Rational, objective, analytic
Đ Filter function
Đ Time-space setting
Active Listening
19
Ą The conscious Mind
Đ Left brain
Đ Body of the brain
Đ Rational, objective, analytic
Đ Filter function
Đ Time-space setting
Active Listening
20
Ą Conscious => unconscious
Đ Hierarchy
Đ R dominates/inhibits L
Đ Blockades
Đ A set of communication rules
Active Listening
21
Ą Improving listening skills
Đ Increase listening span
Đ Take time listen
Đ Give full attention
Đ Restate the message
Đ No over reacting upon delivery
Đ No over reaction upon content
Active Listening
22
Ą Improving listening skills
Đ No faking attention
Đ Listen between the lines
Đ Listen => ideaŐs & facts
Đ No monopolization
Đ Adapt your thought speed
Active Listening
22
Ą Improving listening skills
Đ No faking attention
Đ Listen between the lines
Đ Listen => ideaŐs & facts
Đ No monopolization
Đ Adapt your thought speed
Active Listening
23
Ą Exercise self analysis
How do I think ?
How do I feel ?
Person -Subject
Active Listening
24
Ą Exercise
Listening span
Time
Attention
Active Listening
25
Ą Exercise observing behaviour
What is this person doing that upsets me?
Is it speech?
His manners?
His voice?
É.. ?
Active Listening
25
Ą Exercise observing behaviour
What is this person doing that upsets me?
Is it speech?
His manners?
His voice?
É.. ?
Active Listening
26
Ą Reflecting skills : Giving feedback
Đ Encouraging
Đ Paraphrasing
Đ Repeating
Đ Summarizing
Đ Confirmation
Active Listening
27
Ą Exercise
LIST
Active Listening
28
Ą Exercise :
Encouraging
Paraphrasing
Active Listening
28
Ą Exercise :
Encouraging
Paraphrasing
Active Listening
29
Ą Exercise :
Repeating
Summarizing
Active Listening
30
Ą Exercise :
Confirmation
Active Listening
31
Active Listening
31
Active Listening
32
Active Listening
33
Active Listening
34
Active Listening
34
Active Listening
35
Đ EXERCISE
Đhandshake
Active Listening
36
ĐQUESTIONAIRE
Đ body language
Active Listening
37
ĐEXERCISE
ĐSocial talk
Active Listening
37
ĐEXERCISE
ĐSocial talk
Active Listening
38
1. Importance of body language
2. Rules for a good interviewer
3. Making Rapport
4. Body language
Đ General
Đ Specific
Ą Mirroring
Active Listening
39
Ą 1 Importance ?
Ą 75% of our active time is spent on information
exchange
Ą 93% happens on a non verbal level
Ą =>Knowledge of this fact helps us a lot in
improving human contact
Active Listening
Active Listening
Ą
2. General rules : ?
1.
Try to make as soon as possible contact
2.
Through flexibility and showing
understanding for someoneŐs cultural and
mental background
40
Active Listening
Ą 2. General rules :
Đ Listen with your ears AND eyes
Đ Try to address asap the emotional
commitment of your prospect
Đ Train continuously in observing people
around you
41
Active Listening
Ą 3. Making Rapport
Đ Is a harmonious empathic or careful bond with the
other, a mutual commitment, a soul mate feeling.
Ą ŇChameleon effectÓ ?
42
43
Ą 3. ŇChameleon effectÓ
Đ We like to be with people like us
Đ We adapt our behaviour automatically
toward the other
Đ Learn to recognize and manage this
behaviour
Active Listening
43
Ą 3. ŇChameleon effectÓ
Đ We like to be with people like us
Đ We adapt our behaviour automatically
toward the other
Đ Learn to recognize and manage this
behaviour
Active Listening
44
Active Listening
45
Active Listening
46
Active Listening
Exercice
Mime
46
Active Listening
Exercice
Mime
47
Ą 4. Body language : general demeanour
Đ Open -Closed ?
Đ Forwards -Backwards ?
Active Listening
48
Ą 4. Body language: general demeanour
Đ Open -closed
Ą Crossed arms and legs, body slightly turned
away
Ą Face turned towards you with open hands
Active Listening
49
Active Listening
49
Active Listening
50
Active Listening
51
Active Listening
52
Ą Combative
Đ Let me go: ticking with finger, ticking with
foot, staring
Đ Aggressive: leaning forward, pointing with
finger, closed fists
Đ Teasing: (standing), hands on the hips,
frowning
Active Listening
52
Ą Combative
Đ Let me go: ticking with finger, ticking with
foot, staring
Đ Aggressive: leaning forward, pointing with
finger, closed fists
Đ Teasing: (standing), hands on the hips,
frowning
Active Listening
53
Active Listening
54
Ą Fugitive mode
Đ Annoyed : staring at the ceiling, floppy
demeanour, nodding, ticking foot
Đ Let me go: feet towards the door, looking around,
nodding ones jacket
Đ Disregard : leaning backwards, arms /legs crossed
on the knee, head down, frowning
Đ Defensive : (standing), feet inwards oriented,
hands clinched
Active Listening
55
Active Listening
55
Active Listening
56
Ą Reflective mode
Đ Listening: head slightly on one side, much
eye contact, nodding, high eye blinking
rate
Đ Judging: Ňsucks his pencilÓ, touches his
chin, look above and right (?), legs crossed
(only knee)
Đ Attentive : (standing), arms on the back,
smiling, open feet
Active Listening
57
Active Listening
58
Ą Responsive mode
Đ Agreeing: leaning forwards, open body,
open arms & feed
Đ Ready to go: open legs, feet under the
chair, tough stand, leaning forwards
Đ Ready for the ŇdealÓ: papers together,
pencil o the table, hands flat on the table
Active Listening
58
Ą Responsive mode
Đ Agreeing: leaning forwards, open body,
open arms & feed
Đ Ready to go: open legs, feet under the
chair, tough stand, leaning forwards
Đ Ready for the ŇdealÓ: papers together,
pencil o the table, hands flat on the table
Active Listening
59
Active Listening
60
ĐEXERCISE
Đ posture I
Active Listening
61
Active Listening
61
Active Listening
62
Ą 4. Body language: general demeanour
Đ Straight up
Đ Floppy like a wet towel
Đ Symmetric
Đ Asymmetric
Active Listening
63
Active Listening
64
Active Listening
64
Active Listening
65
Active Listening
66
ĐEXERCISE
Đposture II
Active Listening
67
Ą 4. Body language: general : head
Active Listening
67
Ą 4. Body language: general : head
Active Listening
68
Ą 4. Body language: general: head ?
Đ normal straight up
Đ Backwards, chin in the air
Đ Forwards, looking down
Đ Forwards, staring
Đ Looking away from the speaker, frowning
Đ Forwards to one side
Ą
Active Listening
69
Active Listening
70
Active Listening
70
Active Listening
71
Ą 4. Body language: head: nodding
Đ For -backwards : YES nodding
Đ Left -right shaking : NO shaking
Đ TAKE CARE: not always like that ?
Ą Acknowledging nodding (fast)
Ą Continuously nodding ( slow)
Ą Dubitative shaking (slow)
Ą Disagree shaking (fast)
Active Listening
72
ĐEXERCISE
Puzzle A
Active Listening
73
ABCDActive Listening
73
ABCDActive Listening
74
DAActive Listening
75
BCActive Listening
76
EXERCISE
Puzzle B
Active Listening
76
EXERCISE
Puzzle B
Active Listening
77
ABCDEFActive Listening
78
FBCADEActive Listening
79
4. Body language: concepts: distance
Đ Personal sphere proxemics ?
Ą Intimate distance: 0 Đ 45 cm
only for a small group of intimate persons
Ą Personal distance: 45 Đ 200 cm
(This is the limit of physical dominance)
Ą Social distance: 1,20 Đ 2,10 m
most social interactions occur at this distance
Ą Public distance: 3,5 Đ 7,5 and further; speeches
Đ Using this tool enhance or lowers down anxiety
Active Listening
79
4. Body language: concepts: distance
Đ Personal sphere proxemics ?
Ą Intimate distance: 0 Đ 45 cm
only for a small group of intimate persons
Ą Personal distance: 45 Đ 200 cm
(This is the limit of physical dominance)
Ą Social distance: 1,20 Đ 2,10 m
most social interactions occur at this distance
Ą Public distance: 3,5 Đ 7,5 and further; speeches
Đ Using this tool enhance or lowers down anxiety
Active Listening
80
Active Listening
81
Active Listening
82
Active Listening
82
Active Listening
83
4. Body language: concepts: Chronemics
Đ Time perception and time spending ?
Ą ŇThrough TimeÓ
Đ Time line goes mostly from left to right (project-
managers)
Ą ŇIn TimeÓ
Đ Time line goes mostly back forwards (housewife,
waiter)
Ą IMPORTANT WHEN MAKING APPOINTMENTS
Active Listening
84
EXERCISE
Time &
Appointments
Active Listening
Active Listening
4. Body language: concepts: Time perception
Đ I will do that later
Đ I call you next week
Đ We meet around noon
Đ I wonŐt take long
Đ I come immediately
Đ I am there
Active Listening
Ą We learned :
Đ How important listening is
Đ Why we must actively listen
Đ How to reflect verbally
Đ How to reflect non verbally
Đ Active listening is an ATTITUDE
Active Listening TEST
In group of three
A explains why (s)he is in this course
B listen and try to fully understand
C is the observer
After 15 change roll so that everyone has played all three rolls
Listening evaluation: What kind of a listener are you ?
Listening Quiz
How much information reaches the other?
Starting from what you have in your brain to what he other effectively retain, accept, will do
Ą The function of listening
Writing
Reading
Speaking
Listening
Active Listening
9%
16%
30%
45%
Listening Hearing
Do you hear that?
Listen to the birds!
Regression in listening!
9y
12y
14y
17y
Active Listening
90%
80%
44%
28%
Regression in listening!
9y
12y
14y
17y
Active Listening
90%
80%
44%
28%
Ą Listening is always an active process
Đ This means you have to actively process the
information given
Đ => your own frame of references will filter the
information (funnel)
Đ hearing canŐt be stopped
Active Listening
12
Active Listening
Ą The process
Sender Transmission of
the message
Receiver
Frame of
references
Mental status
Emotional status
Frame of
references
Mental status
Emotional status
13
Active Listening
Ą Good habits
Đ What to use from the speaker
Đ Concentrate on the message
Đ No judging
Đ Search for main ideas
Đ Stay relaxed
Đ Identify strong emotions
Đ Anticipate
Đ Prevent external distraction
13
Active Listening
Ą Good habits
Đ What to use from the speaker
Đ Concentrate on the message
Đ No judging
Đ Search for main ideas
Đ Stay relaxed
Đ Identify strong emotions
Đ Anticipate
Đ Prevent external distraction
14
Ą Bad habits
Đ Calling the other ŇboringÓ
Đ Criticize the external appearance
Đ Preparing the reply while the partner is
speaking
Đ Only looking for facts
Đ Mocking attention
Active Listening
15
Ą Bad habits
Đ Letting the emotionally strong language take
the lead
Đ Allowing distraction from outside
Active Listening
16
Active Listening
16
Active Listening
17
Ą Exercise
Groups of three persons
One interviews the other
One observer
Alternate the role after 15min
Active Listening
18
Ą The unconscious Mind
Đ Right brain
Đ Body of the brain
Đ Non-rational & non-temporal
Đ No erase/delete, become conscious
Đ Emotions, sensations, perceptions
Đ Creativity
Active Listening
19
Ą The conscious Mind
Đ Left brain
Đ Body of the brain
Đ Rational, objective, analytic
Đ Filter function
Đ Time-space setting
Active Listening
19
Ą The conscious Mind
Đ Left brain
Đ Body of the brain
Đ Rational, objective, analytic
Đ Filter function
Đ Time-space setting
Active Listening
20
Ą Conscious => unconscious
Đ Hierarchy
Đ R dominates/inhibits L
Đ Blockades
Đ A set of communication rules
Active Listening
21
Ą Improving listening skills
Đ Increase listening span
Đ Take time listen
Đ Give full attention
Đ Restate the message
Đ No over reacting upon delivery
Đ No over reaction upon content
Active Listening
22
Ą Improving listening skills
Đ No faking attention
Đ Listen between the lines
Đ Listen => ideaŐs & facts
Đ No monopolization
Đ Adapt your thought speed
Active Listening
22
Ą Improving listening skills
Đ No faking attention
Đ Listen between the lines
Đ Listen => ideaŐs & facts
Đ No monopolization
Đ Adapt your thought speed
Active Listening
23
Ą Exercise self analysis
How do I think ?
How do I feel ?
Person -Subject
Active Listening
24
Ą Exercise
Listening span
Time
Attention
Active Listening
25
Ą Exercise observing behaviour
What is this person doing that upsets me?
Is it speech?
His manners?
His voice?
É.. ?
Active Listening
25
Ą Exercise observing behaviour
What is this person doing that upsets me?
Is it speech?
His manners?
His voice?
É.. ?
Active Listening
26
Ą Reflecting skills : Giving feedback
Đ Encouraging
Đ Paraphrasing
Đ Repeating
Đ Summarizing
Đ Confirmation
Active Listening
27
Ą Exercise
LIST
Active Listening
28
Ą Exercise :
Encouraging
Paraphrasing
Active Listening
28
Ą Exercise :
Encouraging
Paraphrasing
Active Listening
29
Ą Exercise :
Repeating
Summarizing
Active Listening
30
Ą Exercise :
Confirmation
Active Listening
31
Active Listening
31
Active Listening
32
Active Listening
33
Active Listening
34
Active Listening
34
Active Listening
35
Đ EXERCISE
Đhandshake
Active Listening
36
ĐQUESTIONAIRE
Đ body language
Active Listening
37
ĐEXERCISE
ĐSocial talk
Active Listening
37
ĐEXERCISE
ĐSocial talk
Active Listening
38
1. Importance of body language
2. Rules for a good interviewer
3. Making Rapport
4. Body language
Đ General
Đ Specific
Ą Mirroring
Active Listening
39
Ą 1 Importance ?
Ą 75% of our active time is spent on information
exchange
Ą 93% happens on a non verbal level
Ą =>Knowledge of this fact helps us a lot in
improving human contact
Active Listening
Active Listening
Ą
2. General rules : ?
1.
Try to make as soon as possible contact
2.
Through flexibility and showing
understanding for someoneŐs cultural and
mental background
40
Active Listening
Ą 2. General rules :
Đ Listen with your ears AND eyes
Đ Try to address asap the emotional
commitment of your prospect
Đ Train continuously in observing people
around you
41
Active Listening
Ą 3. Making Rapport
Đ Is a harmonious empathic or careful bond with the
other, a mutual commitment, a soul mate feeling.
Ą ŇChameleon effectÓ ?
42
43
Ą 3. ŇChameleon effectÓ
Đ We like to be with people like us
Đ We adapt our behaviour automatically
toward the other
Đ Learn to recognize and manage this
behaviour
Active Listening
43
Ą 3. ŇChameleon effectÓ
Đ We like to be with people like us
Đ We adapt our behaviour automatically
toward the other
Đ Learn to recognize and manage this
behaviour
Active Listening
44
Active Listening
45
Active Listening
46
Active Listening
Exercice
Mime
46
Active Listening
Exercice
Mime
47
Ą 4. Body language : general demeanour
Đ Open -Closed ?
Đ Forwards -Backwards ?
Active Listening
48
Ą 4. Body language: general demeanour
Đ Open -closed
Ą Crossed arms and legs, body slightly turned
away
Ą Face turned towards you with open hands
Active Listening
49
Active Listening
49
Active Listening
50
Active Listening
51
Active Listening
52
Ą Combative
Đ Let me go: ticking with finger, ticking with
foot, staring
Đ Aggressive: leaning forward, pointing with
finger, closed fists
Đ Teasing: (standing), hands on the hips,
frowning
Active Listening
52
Ą Combative
Đ Let me go: ticking with finger, ticking with
foot, staring
Đ Aggressive: leaning forward, pointing with
finger, closed fists
Đ Teasing: (standing), hands on the hips,
frowning
Active Listening
53
Active Listening
54
Ą Fugitive mode
Đ Annoyed : staring at the ceiling, floppy
demeanour, nodding, ticking foot
Đ Let me go: feet towards the door, looking around,
nodding ones jacket
Đ Disregard : leaning backwards, arms /legs crossed
on the knee, head down, frowning
Đ Defensive : (standing), feet inwards oriented,
hands clinched
Active Listening
55
Active Listening
55
Active Listening
56
Ą Reflective mode
Đ Listening: head slightly on one side, much
eye contact, nodding, high eye blinking
rate
Đ Judging: Ňsucks his pencilÓ, touches his
chin, look above and right (?), legs crossed
(only knee)
Đ Attentive : (standing), arms on the back,
smiling, open feet
Active Listening
57
Active Listening
58
Ą Responsive mode
Đ Agreeing: leaning forwards, open body,
open arms & feed
Đ Ready to go: open legs, feet under the
chair, tough stand, leaning forwards
Đ Ready for the ŇdealÓ: papers together,
pencil o the table, hands flat on the table
Active Listening
58
Ą Responsive mode
Đ Agreeing: leaning forwards, open body,
open arms & feed
Đ Ready to go: open legs, feet under the
chair, tough stand, leaning forwards
Đ Ready for the ŇdealÓ: papers together,
pencil o the table, hands flat on the table
Active Listening
59
Active Listening
60
ĐEXERCISE
Đ posture I
Active Listening
61
Active Listening
61
Active Listening
62
Ą 4. Body language: general demeanour
Đ Straight up
Đ Floppy like a wet towel
Đ Symmetric
Đ Asymmetric
Active Listening
63
Active Listening
64
Active Listening
64
Active Listening
65
Active Listening
66
ĐEXERCISE
Đposture II
Active Listening
67
Ą 4. Body language: general : head
Active Listening
67
Ą 4. Body language: general : head
Active Listening
68
Ą 4. Body language: general: head ?
Đ normal straight up
Đ Backwards, chin in the air
Đ Forwards, looking down
Đ Forwards, staring
Đ Looking away from the speaker, frowning
Đ Forwards to one side
Ą
Active Listening
69
Active Listening
70
Active Listening
70
Active Listening
71
Ą 4. Body language: head: nodding
Đ For -backwards : YES nodding
Đ Left -right shaking : NO shaking
Đ TAKE CARE: not always like that ?
Ą Acknowledging nodding (fast)
Ą Continuously nodding ( slow)
Ą Dubitative shaking (slow)
Ą Disagree shaking (fast)
Active Listening
72
ĐEXERCISE
Puzzle A
Active Listening
73
ABCDActive Listening
73
ABCDActive Listening
74
DAActive Listening
75
BCActive Listening
76
EXERCISE
Puzzle B
Active Listening
76
EXERCISE
Puzzle B
Active Listening
77
ABCDEFActive Listening
78
FBCADEActive Listening
79
4. Body language: concepts: distance
Đ Personal sphere proxemics ?
Ą Intimate distance: 0 Đ 45 cm
only for a small group of intimate persons
Ą Personal distance: 45 Đ 200 cm
(This is the limit of physical dominance)
Ą Social distance: 1,20 Đ 2,10 m
most social interactions occur at this distance
Ą Public distance: 3,5 Đ 7,5 and further; speeches
Đ Using this tool enhance or lowers down anxiety
Active Listening
79
4. Body language: concepts: distance
Đ Personal sphere proxemics ?
Ą Intimate distance: 0 Đ 45 cm
only for a small group of intimate persons
Ą Personal distance: 45 Đ 200 cm
(This is the limit of physical dominance)
Ą Social distance: 1,20 Đ 2,10 m
most social interactions occur at this distance
Ą Public distance: 3,5 Đ 7,5 and further; speeches
Đ Using this tool enhance or lowers down anxiety
Active Listening
80
Active Listening
81
Active Listening
82
Active Listening
82
Active Listening
83
4. Body language: concepts: Chronemics
Đ Time perception and time spending ?
Ą ŇThrough TimeÓ
Đ Time line goes mostly from left to right (project-
managers)
Ą ŇIn TimeÓ
Đ Time line goes mostly back forwards (housewife,
waiter)
Ą IMPORTANT WHEN MAKING APPOINTMENTS
Active Listening
84
EXERCISE
Time &
Appointments
Active Listening
Active Listening
4. Body language: concepts: Time perception
Đ I will do that later
Đ I call you next week
Đ We meet around noon
Đ I wonŐt take long
Đ I come immediately
Đ I am there
Active Listening
Ą We learned :
Đ How important listening is
Đ Why we must actively listen
Đ How to reflect verbally
Đ How to reflect non verbally
Đ Active listening is an ATTITUDE
